February 19, 2018
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Gobsmacked: Nazi Golf Balls For the Greatest Par Three In the World

In case you missed it: As the world reeled from the U.K.'s Brexit vote, alleged Presidential candidate Donald Trump traveled to Scotland to tell a watchful but increasingly dazed audience that the collapse of the European economy would be great for his new Trump Turnberry golf course there, the suites at its hotel are fabulous - “We’ve taken the lighthouse, which is a very, very important building in Florida — I mean in Scotland — and we’ve taken that building and made it something really special... It has incredible suites… golfers will stop and they’ll have something to eat” - and the new and improved sprinklers on the course are  also just incredible, especially at holes 4, 9, 10 and 11. Even before his deranged speech, things were pretty surreal: Several angry Scottish neighbors were flyingMexican flags to irk him and  protesters were carrying hilariously profane signs as Drumpf went on at length about how he loved Scotland and his dear old mother used to come to Turnberry for dinner and isn't it great that the Scottish people had voted to "take their country back," except that, actually, they didn't.

Even the mainstream media couldn't help but notice that Trump's response to a historic and possibly catastrophic world event was to offer an idiotic, bombastic, wildly inappropriate 10-minute infomercial about his own real estate because, really, when the world ends, it will be all about him. "Gobsmacked" media response was best summed up by, "This is insane." Later, after someone evidently noted maybe he should've mentioned the fall of Europe, Trump gave another speech - almost as bizarre as, and more incoherent than, the first - in which he blithely predicted the break up of the E.U.. He said he has so many friends in Germany now thinking about moving; he described them as "proud Germans," patriotic “to a level you wouldn’t believe,” which, actually, we believe. Another likely believer: U.K. activist and comedian Lee Nelson, who at the earlier presser generouslypresented "the new balls available from the clubhouse," each festooned with a swastika. "I forgot to hand them out before - I'm very sorry," Nelson politely  explained as he was dragged from the surreal event. Once he was gone, a couple of Trump thugs tried to kick the balls out of sight. But most remained, speaking truth to lunacy.

How much Scotland loves Trump

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